The forbidden word, huh? What’s that, E? It’s the word you see all the time, but… it seems… nasty? Inappropriate?
What came into your head? What is YOUR forbidden word?
Me? Well, mine was LESBIAN. For the longest time. You’re probably wondering- “Wait, doesn’t she have that in her blog title?” Yep. I do. It took a long time for me to actual call myself a lesbian.
See, I knew I was gay in the first grade. Boys were gross (and still are), and girls were… pretty. But I didn’t know what was happening until I was fifteen! I had my first kiss then, and what do you know? With a girl. *insert gasp here*
I was raised in a Southern Baptist Church, so this was… unheard of. You don’t kiss a girl as a girl. Maybe one day I’ll make a blog post about that. Decisions, decisions.
Anyways, back to the point.
Lesbian is NOT a bad word! The word itself has been sexualized for years which is why it sounds almost “naughty.” But, if we continue to feel ashamed about it, doesn’t that mean we are ashamed of ourselves? The definition is a woman-loving-woman. Right?
So how do we get past this? How do we stop seeing the word “lesbian” (or whichever word is your “forbidden word”) as bad?
Honestly, I’m not sure. I’m just a blogger after all. But here are some tricks that I’ve come up with to help me feel more comfortable in my sexuality and using the correct term for myself.
First, STOP CARING WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK!
I know, if only it was that easy. But listen- YOU are the only person whose thoughts and opinions should matter to you. And your mom. Possibly your cat. Your girlfriend too (if she’s nice). Probably your friends. Well, maybe not just you. But this is YOUR life. If you are happy, healthy, and safe- what else matters?
Second, do your research!
Where does the word come from? What is/are its meaning(s)? A lesbian is simply a woman sexually or romantically attracted to other women. It comes from the Greek island Lesbos where Sappho was from. Sappho wrote poems about women, which is where we get the term “sapphic.” (Sapphic is another word for homosexuality of women.)
Third, listen to yourself.
Maybe your word is still as forbidden as it was before reading this post. If that’s the case, don’t use it. There will always be things we feel uncomfortable with, or as my partner says, “uncomfy.” Don’t force yourself to call yourself anything that feels weird to you. If you prefer the word gay over lesbian, then you prefer the word gay over lesbian! No big deal.
As always, have the best day. Make sure you are healthy and safe.
Fact of the day: “Stubbs” was mayor of a town in Alaska for twenty years! Yes, Stubbs is a cat.
